Another week in Westeros, another week of vastly under-lit rooms. Has anyone else noticed how in Essos (where Dany, Tyrion, and Varys are) it's always daytime but in Westeros (where basically everybody else is) it's always night, even during the day? Jon Snow can step outside for a hanging and your first thought is, man, they could really use some more outdoor lanterns. And that's in the middle of the afternoon! Meanwhile, in Mereen, if the light levels ever get darker than Blazing Sunlight they just light a fleet of ships on fire. Anyway, let's check in on who has gotten a new apartment this week:
Sam, Gilly, and Little Sam, the wildling child destined to become a rapper, are on a ship headed for Oldtown by way of Horn Hill (the seat of House Tarly). But Sam is made physically ill by the fact that the designers of the ship expected its entire hull to be adequately lit by like five candles.
Seriously, Sam cannot believe it with these candles. Five candles? Really? Imagine trying to light your whole apartment with half a menorah. It's enough to make Sam puke repeatedly into a vintage wooden bucket.
Meanwhile, across the Narrow Sea, Arya has failed in her quest to find a new apartment with less abusive roommates and has moved back into her old place: the House of Black and White, otherwise known as the one location in Essos without natural light (except the random spotlight, of course). The House of Black and White has some of the most beautiful architecture in the world, so it's difficult to get too upset at the lack of furniture. They probably had some at some point, but then it all got broken during stick fights.
Although it may seem like a step backwards for Arya, ultimately it seems like a good thing since the House of Black and White apparently has three hot tubs. Those are hot tubs, right? We can't think of anything else they would be.