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Dear Flipped,
I told my son I would get him any kind of bed he wanted and he says he wants a Murphy Bed, one of those beds that folds into the wall. He claims it’s so that he can fold it up and have more space to play with Legos on the floor of his room, but I’m concerned that he is secretly planning on becoming a 1930s slapstick comedian. And it’s not that want to stand in the way of his dreams, but I just wish he’d pick a more modern form of comedy. Nobody wants to see a guy in a bowler hat get slammed into a wall over and over again.
Do you have any experience with stuff like this?
Thanks,
Concerned Dad
***
Dear CD,
Even if your son isn’t actively planning on becoming a ragamuffin hero of silent film, having access to a Murphy Bed will almost certainly propel him in that direction. Here is a list of things that happen every day to owners of Murphy Beds all across this country:
- They sit down on the bed and the bed flips them into the wall.
- They pull down the bed and the bed lands on their top hat, trapping it against the ground, and then when they go to pick up the top hat the brim tears away from the top.
- They lean against the wall, forgetting that there is a Murphy Bed there, and the wall spins around revolving door-style, trapping them as they spin in the opposite direction.
- They jump on the bed and bed flips them against the wall so hard that they go flying through the wall and into the neighboring apartment, often landing on a fully set dinner table.
- When they pull the bed down it falls suddenly on their heads, trapping them underneath.
And those are just a few of the ways that Murphy Beds could potentially draw your son into a life of pratfalls, scored with light classical piano music. Do not make this mistake. Get your son a normal bed and screw it into the floor.
Hope that helps,
Flipped
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