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This mansion is perfect if you like being emotionless in the desert

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This is one cold, cold house

"Give me ceilings that look like floors, and floors that look like ceilings," the original owner of this house probably told his architect. "I want to live in the lobby of a modern art museum."

The architect complied, and now we have this sprawling five-bedroom in Fountain Hills, Arizona, which was just put on the market for an even $9 million. While undeniably large and impressive, looking at the pictures may give you chills. The sprawling combination of living room, dining room, and kitchen is clearly the interior highlight, but seeing that same aesthetic carried over into a bedroom and personal office is more than a little unsettling. The exteriors fare better, with a large patio, infinity-edge pool, and hot tub overlooking a vast expanse of desert.

If you do buy this house, we suggest throwing parties twenty-four hours a day, seven days awake, because being alone in this place looks like it could potentially plunge you into existential despair.

13950 E Bighorn Pkwy,Fountain Hills, AZ 85268 [Zillow]